“It really stinks.”
That is how one brave utility worker described the discovery of America’s International Reputation in the sewers below Charleston, SC, today.
Divers spent two days deep inside the sewer, pulling out huge balls of oily, black filth, lies, defamatory tweets and divisive, name-calling attacks that had clogged intake pumps after being swept into the system after recent heavy rains in Washington, DC.
The Charleston Water System posted pictures of the masses of filth on its Twitter account. It reminded people that only human waste and toilet tissue should be flushed. Filthy political discourse, if it must be enaged in, should not be flushed down toilets because they are complex filth and don’t break down in water.
The divers couldn’t smell in their suits or see in the inky darkness. But as soon as they came back up, they got a bleach bath still in their suits.
“If the President must send out his churlish, offensive tweets, the least he can do is delete them properly,” an official with the water system said.
It just wasn’t Presidential Tweets. The divers found snippets of right wing talk radio racism, skin sheddings from Sean Hannity, and less unusual items like sloughed-off makeup from Fox News host Judge Jeanine Pirro, string, hair, Fox and Friends scripts and assorted Laura Ingraham-related materials, authorities said.
“We’ll probably have to do the whole thing over again on November 7,” the official said. “What the hell are they doing up there in Washington?”