According to Donald Trump, the long-dreaded Zombie Apocalypse is upon us.

At a Monday campaign rally in Green Bay, Wisconsin, the Republican nominee made the unfounded yet oddly specific prediction that “1.8 million deceased individuals” will vote for “somebody else” in the presidential election.

The statistic, which apparently came from a 2012 Pew study, found that up to 1.8 million active voter registrations came from deceased voters. Yet the study found no evidence of fraud or illegitimate ballots actually being cast, instead concluding that state voter databases were outdated.

Who are you going to believe? A research firm named after a cartoon skunk? Or Donald Trump.dd0aa9b04ed97c514a1d3b3709e858a6

Therefore, on Election Day, be ready to stand in line at the polls with millions of decomposing, gibbering, flesh-eating, slow-moving dead people — all Democrats, coincidentally — who will sweep Hillary Clinton into office before collapsing into piles of disjointed bones and rotting flesh.

Whereas Trump supporters are only brain dead, these 1.8 million Hillary voters are all the way, shuffled-off-this-mortal-coil, joined-the-choir-invisible, pining-for-the-fjords, ex-human beings.

All with photo ID, yet.

By The Portly Pundit

After four months in the belly of the right wing media beast, and after a full four days of hot showering, everyone's favorite Portly Pundit is once again weaving tales of progressive pulchritude on Breitbart Unmasked.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *