Governor Chris Christie of New Jersey put out a new video, “Tellling It Like It Is,” in advance of the governor’s formal 2016 presidential launch scheduled for Tuesday. Feeling very inspired, I recorded two new videos with “Governor Christie’s Crooked Pals Club Band.” The parody song “Christie In The Sky With Wildstein” and my original song “Time For Some Traffic Problems In Ft. Lee” feature classic GOP gangster Richard Milhous Nixon on moral turpitude. My new article “Governor Christie Of ‘The Soprano State’ Declares Presidential Run” features Christie-themed music videos and song lyrics alongside quotes from the legendary television series “The Sopranos.”
Journalists Bob Ingle and Sandy McClure wrote a fantastic book called “The Soprano State: New Jersey’s Culture Of Corruption” which I highly recommend that you check out! The book inspired me to explore how Governor Christie followed the great tradition of brazen corruption in New Jersey politics.
“I’m like King Midas in reverse. Everything I touch turns to s–t.”
Matt Friedman of NJ.com details “5 things about Christie’s governorship that could hurt his presidential run.” As Friedman notes: “credit agencies have downgraded bond ratings on nine occasions since Christie took office – more than any previous governor.” King Midas in reverse, indeed!
“You know, Tony, it’s a multiple choice thing with you. ‘Cause I can’t tell if you’re old-fashioned, you’re paranoid, or just a f–king a–hole.”
Matt Katz of WNYC runs The Christie Tracker and appears weekly on WNYC’s Christie Tracker Podcast. Katz is writing a highly anticipated biography (“American Governor: Chris Christie’s Bridge To Redemption”) and keenly observes Christie’s greatest strength and weakness to be “his mouth.”
Check out the video for “Christie In The Sky With Wildstein” right here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9KmadtwznMY&feature=em-upload_owner
“You lost your f–kin’ mind? The sh-t you’re in with that kid, which you brought on yourself.”
“Brought on myself? Oh, I suppose you let a certain element into your world, you’re askin’ for it.”
Picture yourself on a bridge in New Jersey
With very few trees and smog in the sky
Somebody texts you you answer so slowly
A blogger with Devious Eyes
“It’s not like I’m gettin’ somewhere’s playin’ by the rules! F– Tony!”
Cellophane tollbooths of yellow and blue
Shutdown in two of three lanes
Look for the email from Bridget Anne Kelly
She’s gone
Christie in the Sky with Wildstein — Ah – Ah – Ah
“It’s like “Sun-Tuh-Zoo” says: a good leader is benevolent and unconcerned with fame.”
Picture yourself with a straight talking governor
Who lowers your taxes and talks tough on crime
He wants to make your government smaller
He works cross the aisle, makes moderates smile
“There’s an old Italian saying: you f–k up once, you lose two teeth.”
Multiple Scandals on New Jersey Shore
Threaten to take him away
But he’s in denial
His head’s in the clouds and he’s gone
Christie in the Sky with Wildstein — Ah – Ah – Ah
“Where the f— have you been? You’re late!”
“Sorry, the highway was jammed with broken heroes on a last-chance power drive.”
Speaking of jammed highways: “Bridgegate!” My original song “Time For Some Traffic Problems In Ft. Lee” recaps Chris Christie’s major scandals with “Planes, Trains, and Automobiles.”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-FzWuU6cABs&feature=em-upload_owner
“Alright, obviously you told the cops you don’t know who did this.”
“I’m upset. But please, I know how to keep my mouth shut.”
“Oh unless of course there’s a salami sandwich around.”
Who’s that wreaking havoc at the Port Authority?
None other than New Jersey Governor Chris Christie
After Hurricane Sandy he was the toast of the town
Now he’s got some scandals that will bring that fat cat down
“Now apparently, you are becoming a bully. Dr. Mendel feels you’re modeling your actions on the wrong people.”
“Really, like who?”
“You know who. That gangster.”
His political future going down the drain
“Studied traffic patterns” and shut down two of three lanes
“Maybe one reason things are so fucked up in the organization these days is guys running off, not listening to middle management.”
His staffers laughed that people couldn’t get to work on time
New Jersey paid a steep price for a cheap political crime
Time for some traffic problems down in Ft. Lee
The bridge is backed up just as far as the eye can see
Everything’s great in the Garden State, but for Christie it’s much too late
“Jersey’s a small state, she moves in…she could tip it over.”
Christie stopped the Hudson River ARC tunnel project
Commuters stuck in cars and on trains what did he expect?
Used Port Authority money to fix the Pulaski Skyway
Owned and operated by New Jersey, not the agency
“We’ve had every one of Tony Soprano’s phones bugged for four years, but the guy says less than Harpo Marx.”
Port Authority pulled some “trick-eration” with this fraud
Deceiving bond holders is a plan that is flawed
Called Pulaski Skyway a Lincoln Tunnel access road
SEC and Manhattan DA are on the case and Christie will implode
Time for some traffic problems down in Ft. Lee
The bridge is backed up just as far as the eye can see
Everything’s great in the Garden State, but for Christie it’s much too late
“Sit down. Sit down. Sit the f–k down. Your uncle was a rat and now he’s in the witness protection program.”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sw1GY3JTzco&feature=player_embedded
Song Credits:
“Christie In The Sky With Wildstein” (Lyrics by James Rustad. Copyright 2015. All Rights Reserved.)
“Time For Some Traffic Problems In Ft. Lee” (Lyrics and Music by James Rustad. Copyright 2015. All Rights Reserved.)
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